Friday the 10th of January 2020, will be one of the worst days of my life.
My mood matches the weather outside. Rain lashes down like the tears streaming down my face, hard and continuous. And my head pounds, in time with the speed-beating of my mangled heart. My hands shake as I try to write this.
The girl whom I loved more than anything, she has left. Without her I am lost.
I had made plans in my head, and researched them online, for Valentine’s Day, a mere month away, but now they are gone. A poem I had been working on for the past few months, now saved in a folder on this laptop, never to be seen by her.
I know things had been hard over the last few months, my mental health having a bearing on it all, but we were together, a team, in a relationship, and we could have gotten through it. I know I made some horrendous errors of judgement, but my intentions were always out of love, and wanting to fix things. I’m so sorry if it didn’t come across like that.
I pray that she changes her mind. Days, weeks, months, years, I hope that she wants me back, as I will never love anyone again, the way that I love her.
She is making the biggest mistake of her life. I was her future husband, the father of her children, the sitter of her sausage dog. I wanted all of that with her. If we just got through this hard spell, we could have done it all.
She brought so much joy to my life. In bed, with my arms wrapped around her, felt like the best place in the world. I know I made her happy too. And I still could.
The bracelet that she bought me, with our own special inscription, I can’t wear it anymore. It would serve as a constant reminder, of the greatest love I’ve ever lost.
I Love You, Amanda. X